It is important for you to understand who I am and the journey that I have undertaken.
I am lucky enough to be married for 24 years to Sally and see has been tolerant of my early outbursts and difficulties when it came to being a parent.
Don’t get me wrong my children received plenty of love and fun, but I was prone to sudden loss of control and yelling. I am sure some of you can relate to that scenario and the feelings of sadness, guilt and regret that followed my outbursts.
If I go back a step and let you look in on my childhood. I was brought up with two loving parents, but unfortunately my father was a violent alcoholic and had no real idea of how to parent. His father was at war during his youth and unfortunately his mother suffered from mental health issues and he found her passed away at the kitchen table. He had a difficult upbringing and no real role model on which to base his parenting. My mother was wonderful, but suffered badly when we were younger. To say I did not have a parenting role model was an understatement.
I don’t tell you this to gain your sympathy, but so that you can understand the journey that I have undertaken. It is very difficult for parents to be good parents, let alone great parents, if they have had no one to model.
It is for this reason I needed to find a better way to parent my own children and I found that by researching and implementing my own style of conscious parenting. I do not have a Masters or a PhD, I am not a psychologist or a counsellor, I am a parent like yourself that needed to find a better way to parent for my sake, my children’s and Sally.
I will let you know that as high school teacher for over 18 years, I have:
- worked with over 10,000 teens aged between 12-18 years old
- 13,500 hours of classroom teaching
- worked with over 6,500 parents
So its fair to say, I’ve seen all sorts of kids and parents. It is this experience, my journey and my understanding of how conscious parenting can be used that will allow me start you on your journey towards changing the way that you parent.
About Conscious Parenting
What is The Conscious Parenting?
It is a place where parents like you that are struggling with their kids or would like to improve their already good relationships with their kids can come and learn the skills surrounding conscious parenting. Conscious parenting sounds some sort of mystical crap, but it isn’t, in fact nothing could be further from the truth. Conscious Parenting has three major stages:
Understand Your Child's Behaviour
No child ever misbehaves just for the sake of it, instead they produce behaviour that will produce a feeling that they require. You see many kids do not feel like they completely fit into the family and so knowing no better they they create behaviour that will produce the results they need. It is important for you as a parent to understand the four primary types of behaviour and how to modify your behaviour as a result.
Change Your Behaviour To Create Change In Your Child
If you are having some difficulties at the moment then it is possible to try and change your child, but it will not work. When you understand why your child is behaving in a particular manner and what they are trying to achieve then you can modify your behaviour to nullify the problems that are currently happening in your home.
Create Choices and Consequences
You now understand your child's behaviour and have modified your behaviour to produce calmness in your home, but it is still necessary to produce choices and consequences for your child so that they take responsibility for their actions. The power in this stage is the transferring the decision making onto your child and removing you from the equation.
Learning these stages will make you a calm and considered parent that is in control of your emotions. It will remove the conflict from your home and move the responsibility for their actions onto your children.
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